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My husband’s friends know:

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    Dear Amy: Recently there was an infidelity issue (on my part) between my husband and me. We are working on our marriage, and things appear to be getting much better. When it first happened, he turned to his friends pretty upset and had the majority of them block me, etc. His best friend doesn’t speak to me much anymore, but I did reach out letting him know that I do love him and his girlfriend and don’t want to lose them and hope they don’t hate me. He responded, stating that he isn’t making any judgment calls until he gives it time to see how my husband is feeling. When it comes time for me to see them (they all live out of state), do you have any advice to not feel uncomfortable, awkward or scared? I’m afraid they will hate me and will just be glaring at me with hatred the whole time. Nervous Related Articles Advice | Ask Amy: I’m so sick of hearing about her brilliant granddaughters Advice | Ask Amy: How do I...
    DEAR MISS MANNERS: My new husband and I are celebrating our marriage with a small reception for close friends. For affordability at a very nice (and very expensive) venue, we agreed to limit the guest list to local friends we both know. One of my local friends, who received an invitation, presumed that one of my long-distance friends had also received one. She suggested to that faraway friend that she and her girlfriend stay with her when they travel into town for the reception. My husband and I did not invite this friend. He doesn’t know her, neither of us know her girlfriend, and they both live an airplane ride away. My faraway friend wrote to me to ask if the reception was still happening and queried about the details so she could make plans. After talking it over with my husband, we sent her a formal invitation, addressed to her alone. Her RSVP card arrived back with confirmation that she and her girlfriend would both be attending. Related Articles Advice | Miss Manners: They’re astonished by my...
    DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband says I mangled this situation badly. We met a couple at church and felt we would like to get to know them better. One Sunday after services, I asked whether they would care to join us for dinner that afternoon and that we eat at 4 p.m. The husband had stepped away to speak with someone else, and the wife thanked me for the invitation and said she would talk with her husband and get back to me. When we got home, I reiterated the invitation via text. There was no reply. As it happened, my dinner was ready to eat a little earlier than I thought it would be, so my family and I went ahead and sat down to eat since I had not heard back. Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang at 4 p.m. and there was the couple — plate of cookies in hand — cheerfully stating they were there for dinner. Related Articles Advice | Miss Manners: I’m not sure she overheard me gossiping. Should I apologize...
    Dear Amy: I have been in a 20-year relationship with a wonderful man who has been there for me, through thick and thin. Amy Dickinson  We raised my children together and are now enjoying our grandchildren. I have been very unhappy in the relationship for the last few years because I’ve fallen out of love with him. I don’t want to have the grandbabies lose out on a wonderful grandfather because he will leave the country if we split up, but I want to be happy, too. I’ve always liked women, but I didn’t want my mother to take my children away from me if I lived my true self, so when I met him, and we decided to get together, I honestly wanted to grow old with him. Now my children are grown, and I feel like I deserve to be happy. I just don’t want to break a good man’s heart. How can I have both things that I want? – Lost in the Closet Dear Lost: You may not be able to have everything you want. Because...
    DEAR HARRIETTE: I just reconnected with an old high school acquaintance. We have become good friends. Harriette Cole  When she introduced me to her fiance, I was shocked to learn it was my old boyfriend from college. He knew we were friends now and did not tell her that he knew me.  He and I have an extensive past together, and I feel uncomfortable about her not knowing. Should I tell her? Ex Factor DEAR EX FACTOR: In a word, yes. If she is your friend and you intend to remain close, you cannot keep something this significant to yourself. Since you didn’t tell her immediately, though, you may want to check in with him. Ask him why in the world he chose not to reveal his past relationship with you. Give him the heads-up that you intend to let her know about it. Don’t let him convince you to keep it a secret. You do not need to reveal all of the details of the past. Decide what is important to share with your friend and what can remain...
    DEAR ABBY: I got married six months ago to an awesome guy. Now we’re expecting. Although I don’t want the child, I am trying hard to want it. But I keep coming back to overwhelming regret, because it is too soon. I know this means the world to him. Truly, he is amazing, but his light is my doom. I need time away from him to see how I feel. We are never apart, and it’s making me irritable, like I have nothing of my own anymore. He’s always there. I suppose it is a good thing, but I can’t breathe. Related Articles Dear Abby: My friend dumped me because I belittled the Thanksgiving menu Dear Abby: How can I convince my daughter that her mother is lying to her? Dear Abby: After the things he says, I’m not at all attracted to him Dear Abby: My dad’s reaction to my mean mom’s death is distressing Dear Abby: When I said he could crash with me, I didn’t mean like...
    EVERY marriage has its own dynamics, its own rules, and its own expectations. While there is no single recipe for a successful union, there are certain common practices that most couples believe to be helpful. 3Bailey's rules with her husband seem extreme to many couplesCredit: TikTok/@bmcpher 3But some viewers agreed with Bailey on the topic and believed the expectations she presented were perfectly normalCredit: TikTok/@bmcpher A woman named Bailey, who goes by @bmcpher on TikTok, shared a few tactics that work for her and her husband. “Rules that my husband and I have for our marriage that make people ANGRY,” she began, as the song called Start A Riot played in the background. Their first rule: “No friends of the opposite sex.” Rule number two and three: “No work gfs/bfs; no being alone with the opposite sex.” She playfully danced and smiled as she listed her final rule on the topic: “No texting the opposite sex without the other knowing.” The guidelines seem unreasonable to the average viewer, and Bailey is clearly aware of her controversial opinions. Her TikTok bio...
    DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is a Vietnam veteran who is retired from the Army. When we go out and he wears his “Vietnam Veteran” hat, people often come up to him and say, “Thank you for your service.” What is the proper response to this? To respond “thank you” doesn’t seem quite right. I suggested “I appreciate it,” but he said that doesn’t sound right, either. GENTLE READER: “I was only doing my duty.” The other responses you mention are also acceptable, but this one is a polite and modest response that Miss Manners hopes will satisfy those veterans who remember encountering less charming remarks from the public. Or, as in the case of more recent veterans from whom Miss Manners has heard, those who believe that more than thanks were required of their fellow citizens. Related Articles Miss Manners: We told her we don’t need charity. She gave us a big check anyway. Miss Manners: I can’t believe her behavior at the movies Miss Manners: My boyfriend yells my name in the...
    Dear Amy: My husband and I have two close friends: “Jack” and “Katrina,” who are married to each other and have two children. Amy Dickinson  We are often with them and with other couples at social functions. I recently found out that Jack has been in a multi-year affair with another much younger friend of ours, “Martina.” I spoke to both Jack and Martina and told them they need to come clean with Katrina. They haven’t done that and continue their affair in secret. I know this because I drive by Martina’s house all the time, where I see his car parked in front. I confronted them again. Jack said he hadn’t told Katrina, and didn’t intend to. They told me to mind my own business. Related Articles Ask Amy: I butt-dialed a friend, and I’m furious she listened to what I was saying Ask Amy: They’re mask-free and happy. How do I tell them my news? Ask Amy: He only said he’d marry me because I told him I’m sad Ask...
    DEAR ABBY: I have been single for almost three years. I recently started dating a man who, I have realized over the past few weeks, has a problem with me spending time with friends without him. Jeanne Phillips  I have explained that it is a healthy and normal thing to have friends and to go do things with them. I have explained that he has nothing to worry about because I am respectful of our relationship and a faithful girlfriend. I have also begun to notice that he has no friends. I have told him he is coming across as controlling. I don’t want this to be a problem with him, and I don’t know how to get him to see that it’s normal for people to go and have fun as friends. My friends are classmates of mine, both male and female, and younger than I am. One of them is gay. I have explained that as well to my boyfriend. Related Articles Dear Abby: I want to date him, but we have a connection he may...
    DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a functioning alcoholic for more than 30 years. He was once funny and nice and a good dad. But over the years he has become unbearable to live with. Jeanne Phillips  He doesn’t shower or brush his teeth. He was always mainly a beer drinker, but now he is drinking hard liquor and stays drunk most of the time he is awake. I told him I thought he was depressed and a severe alcoholic, and he should talk to his doctor, but he refuses. He walks around cursing under his breath, and nobody wants to be around him. I keep him off the road when he has been drinking, but I’m terrified he will hurt someone. I am pretty sure he is drinking on the job, and I’m scared he will hurt himself. Related Articles Dear Abby: I find this game hurtful but my girlfriend won’t stop Dear Abby: How can I get my ring back without tipping off my boyfriend’s wife? Dear Abby: I was horrible...
    Dear Amy: During a recent vacation with friends, a new couple was invited. I know this couple and was fine with them joining us. Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)  The wife knows my husband’s ex-wife. (My husband and I have been married for 30 years.) During a group conversation she drunkenly blurted out some very personal information about my husband and his ex-wife. What she said was definitely news to me, and incorrect. The other women looked at me in shock, and I denied it, of course. But she kept going on and on. I finally just left the group. My other friends chose to ignore this out of respect for me, and it was never brought up again. My relationship with this woman is now strained. I avoid her and when I do speak to her, I keep my conversation with her short. I do not need for her to know anything about what is currently going on in our lives. Related Articles Ask Amy: My neighbor ridicules anyone who objects to his big yard flag...
    DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years. He’s my dreamboat, everything I ever wanted in a man. Although he doesn’t have a history of cheating, he is flirtatious. Jeanne Phillips  My husband fixes computers. Last year, when my best friend’s computer wouldn’t turn on, he was happy to help. I just found a naked picture of her on his computer. When I confronted him, he confessed he stole it while he was fixing her computer. When I told my friend, she kind of blew it off (“Men do stupid stuff …”). Related Articles Dear Abby: I found pictures of my wife’s ex, and it’s stressing me out Dear Abby: I sent my grandson a gift, and his father confiscated it Dear Abby: Other people are getting out. My Neanderthal husband wants us to keep sheltering. Dear Abby: I know why he’s rude to my husband, I just don’t know what to do about it Dear Abby: She insulted me, and still expects me to...
    DEAR ABBY: I am writing because I’m sure other grandparents have faced the same issue as I have. Jeanne Phillips  I enjoy sending my grandchildren cards with a small check for special occasions or as a reward for doing well in school, etc. My son and daughter-in-law have a reward system set up with my grandson where he receives an allowance for doing his chores but has money deducted if he doesn’t. I sent my grandson a small check with his birthday card, but my son informed me that he will be able to keep only $2 of it, because he’s in the hole for not doing his chores. Related Articles Dear Abby: Other people are getting out. My Neanderthal husband wants us to keep sheltering. Dear Abby: I know why he’s rude to my husband, I just don’t know what to do about it Dear Abby: She insulted me, and still expects me to give her gifts Dear Abby: My fiancee says sex with co-worker is just blowing off steam ...
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